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The Friday Funnies: Skeptic calls global warming giant snow job

February 5, 2010

February 5, 2010  MINNEAPOLIS, As a monster snowstorm moved in on the Washington, DC area, Dr. Heinrip Schplochmann, a maverick climatologist pointed to storm as proof that the climate warming theory is all wrong. Schplochmann, head of the climate department at Endrun University in Muskeegamissing, MN told reporters that this year’s record snow falls along the east coast shows that conventional wisdom relating global warming to man’s impact is all wrong. “With all the hot air coming out of the capital you would expect to see palm trees — but you don’t — it looks more like Minnesota.” He displayed records showing that North America has seen cooler not warmer temperatures in recent years. He also passed out hacked emails in which several renowned global warming experts discussed their upcoming ski trip. “The slopes are booming,” said Schplochmann.

NOAA Radar

Asked to comment, internationally recognized NASA scientist, Dr. James Hansen, said that an enormous body of peer reviewed studies clearly shows that the globe as a whole is warming. “An outgrowth of warmer sea temperatures may be more intense storms.” He added that Schplochmann’s reports have not been peer reviewed “and he is funded by a narrow self interests that don’t want to see carbon regulated.”

Schplochmann denied that his funding sources were narrow and told reporters that he had received major grants not only from major oil companies but from coal and tar sands interests as well. “I even got funding from the nuclear industry — and they support global warming theory.”

In a related development the fundamentalist preacher the Reverend Vernon T. MacEntyre said “the Lord is sending a powerful message to Washington to stop its sinful ways.” He noted that God is also giving a boost to Republicans efforts to close down the Capitol. MacEntyre warned, “this is just the first and not the worst.”

Notably, Pat Robertson, had no comment and declined to answer reporter’s questions. A spokesman said he was taking a break after the firestorm that followed his remarks saying the recent earthquake In Haiti was God’s punishment for the voodoo deal that Haitians made with the Devil.

Robert, Dallas News

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